Act 1, scene 1. An empty lot near Scotland Drive.
Thunder and lightning. Enter three sisters, all RESNET-certified.
First rater:
When shall we three meet again,
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?
Second rater:
When the drywall work is done,
When the zoning battle’s won.
Third rater:
The lawyers sure are having fun!
First rater:
What’s the sign?
Second rater:
A Christmas wreath.
Third rater:
We shall meet there with Macbeth.
First rater:
Where hast thou been, sister?
Second rater:
Smashing recessed cans.
First rater:
Look what I have.
Second rater:
Show me, show me.
First rater:
Here I have a thermostat,
With wi-fi, girls. This stat can chat.
Drum within
Third rater:
A drum, a drum! Macbeth doth come.
Enter Macbeth and Banquo
Macbeth:
So foul and fair a day I have not seen.
Banquo:
Who are these workers,
So withered and so wild in their attire?
Macbeth:
Speak, if you can: what are you?
First rater:
All hail, Macbeth! Hail to thee, ranch home developer!
Second rater:
All hail, Macbeth! Hail to thee, Energy Star builder!
Third rater:
All hail, Macbeth! Thou shalt build a Passivhaus!
Banquo:
[To Macbeth]: Good sir, why do you start; and seem to fear
Things that do sound so fair?
[To the three sisters:] Strange women,
You greet my friend with several great predictions
Of rising skills and energy performance,
Foreseeing that he’ll build much tighter homes:
Point six air changes at 50 Pascals!
Could this be true? Forsooth, his homes are junk.
He seems befuddled now. Foretell some more:
If you can look into the seeds of time,
And say which grain will grow and which will not,
…
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8 Comments
Iambic pentameter, even.
Iambic pentameter, even. Impressive! And a little disturbing.
Well done.
This is possibly one of the greatest things I've ever read. Thanks for the laughs!
Brilliant
Glad the PV was working enough for you to upload this.
Stage production pending? Broadway beckons.
I've waited to read this gem until the quiet of a Sunday morning when I could truly savor and enjoy it. Bravo Martin! Truly thou art a great wit and a poet indeed!
Brilliant!
"Double, double, toil and trouble;
Caulk shall seal, and spray foam bubble"
Big smile here! A master work indeed!
Brilliant!
This may be your finest work to date! Absolutely loved it.
Cheers!
Merry Christmas, all!
Thanks for the feedback -- glad you enjoyed it. A happy holiday season to all.
Holy Cow!
That was truly amazing! Happy holidays Martin!
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